Without Question
I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with a couple of pieces gone.
I don’t always know what to say.
If a laugh a little, smile a little, move the conversation toward a lighter subject I may sound inconsiderate and thoughtless.
If I express words of comfort, they may sound like insincere platitudes from someone whose life goes on.
If I feel overwhelming joy at the minutes we come together via an IM program, so there is overwhelming guilt that the time may have been stolen from somewhere it is needed more.
No matter how sincere, at times like this any words of solace echo in a hollow cave.
I want to hold his heart in the palm of my hands and bathe it in my warm breath. I want to convey love and understanding and acceptance as soundless whispers while he dreams. I want to join my voice to his and scream our anger out and up and over the landscape until it is spent in the far reaches of the universe.
And in place of all those things I cannot do, I do the one I can. Love, silently, without question.
